Why Ronaldo out and Berbatov in will bad for the Champions and my hair...

With my hair falling out even faster than it was prior to the summer transfer window opening, there must be a serious possibility that I'll be sporting a full blown friars patch come the beginning of the new season. I'm sure I'm not the only Red suffering with this complaint, it's quite normal for dogs and horses to malt in the summer months, but of course their shiny coats come back, in contrast for us poor souls the choices are grim, what is it to be; dulling cream to stop the glare, shave the lot off, a Bobby Charlton style comb-over, or the dreaded Irish Jig?


This summer’s ultimate men’s accessory - the Ronaldo baldy comb


The official term for spot baldness is Alopecia areata, which can be brought on by stress and of course we United fans spend an unhealthy amount of our precious time worrying about what our great leader will do to strengthen our playing squad at this time of year. So yes Fergie, I am blaming you in part for my hair loss - you and that swine Ronaldo, who continues to be linked with Real Madrid.

If it was good enough for Bobby Charlton....

Odds on that United will sign Berbatov and we cannot rule that Ronaldo will be sold, which will presumably finance any new acquisitions as well as secure the long term future of Carlos Tevez, which must be a priority for Fergie.

The ideal scenario would be for Ronaldo to stay, coupled with Berbatov arriving too, but if we end up losing the Player of the Year even with the Bulgarian in harness the Champions will be significantly weaker than last season. Ronaldo is irreplaceable at this moment in time, but as Cantona said recently United will go on to win yet more silverware even without Ronaldo.... but it is likely to be at the expense of my hair and sanity.