Friday, July 11, 2008

The slow tick-tock of the transfer clock....

It's been a long wet summer so far for United fans with still no positive news on incoming transfers. But we are the lucky ones; we can at least bathe in the afterglow of becoming Premier League and Champions League winners - just think how it must be for Chelsea fans. They will in all probability lose their star men in Drogba, Lampard and possibly Essien too.

We have our own concerns over the "slave" that is Ronaldo. Word has it that Fergie has been practising his hairdryer technique in preparation for their first face to face meeting. It's unlikely to be a full on nose to nose frenzied attack, but Ronaldo is likely to suffer third degree burns from being singed round the edges by the man from Govan.

As for us Reds fans, many of us are still drunk following on from our end of season success both on the domestic and European front, our daily routines go something like this:

7am: Logged on: Still no news, but Scousers continue to be linked with sh*t players. It's nearly as good as United signing a great player - that is the knowledge that the Scouse barren run sans League title is likely to carry on for another season.

8am: Logged on again before heading to work: Morning updates claim that Ronaldo is going to join Real Madrid. A greasy slimeball from Real Madrid tells a well placed source that Ronaldo has in fact already signed.

11am coffee break: Went for a sh*t and read daily paper and according to reports Ronaldo says he agrees with Blatter that "modern day slavery" should be abolished.

1pm lunch, logged on again: Marca claim that Fergie is having servant quarters built at the bottom of his garden at his Wilmslow home.

3pm coffee break, logged on: Still no news on incoming deals, but Wenger has been linked into Max Mosely sex scandal with sensationalist reports claiming that the Frenchman played role of toe-sucking dominatrix.

7pm logged on after tea: Ramon Caldron tells Marca that he believes there's little chance of Ronaldo signing for Madrid this summer.

9pm nothing on TV so logged on again: Marca claim that not only has Ronaldo signed, but that he's already played three games for Madrid.

11pm Logged on before close of play: Reports claim that Robbie Fowler has signed for Blackburn but cannot believe this story hasn't come from Marca.

Hit the sheets and dream that United have signed a top striker.

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